Crying is a release

My husband works away. This began about 2 months ago. Before we were separated I created a bunch of videos of daily life with him and the children. I have balked at showing the children the videos as I have been worried I would be unable to cope with their emotions at seeing daddy and missing him.

 

Today I asked the children to join me to watch a video of daddy and the children. The video shows daddy arriving home from work and the children waiting and calling him and greeting him with hugs and kisses. As we began to watch, my 3.5 year old son's eyes began to fill with tears. He said softly, "I miss daddy". I held him closer and said, "Its ok to cry." To which he responded quite quickly with all out crying, tears streaming down his cheeks, "I MISS DADDY! I MISS DADDY! I MISS DADDY!". I just held him, told him I am there and I miss daddy so much too. Then, he sniffed and stopped and said, "Happy now!" (My children have a habit of saying this when they stop crying.)

 

As I held him through the tears, I no longer felt worried or anxious to make it stop. I actually understood quite deeply that this was a release for my little man. Unlike my daughter (2years) who melts down in tears most mornings, my son cries much less. The ability to let him cry and feel how he misses his dad really was a release for him. For me too.

"Happy now!"