In my observations of infants and toddlers, I see children follow a fairly predictable path toward early peer interactions:
· First the child feels safe in the environment. Some take longer than others. Once they understand their caregiver is close by if they need them, they feel confident to explore their surroundings. At this time it is important the adults send the message that the child can explore in their own way. The child may take a longer time to trust their own capabilities if they are used to adult led play.
· The child explores the objects and physical structures in the environment.
· The child begins to notice the other children in the space. They often spend time observing others them from a “safe” distance.
· The child begins to explore the other children. This happens in a number of ways, such as: approaching others, taking objects the other child plays with, touching them, making eye contact, smiling and copying them.
The response of the caregivers at this time will influence their confidence in social situations. I demonstrate ways of supporting initial interactions and after some time, I begin to see the fruits of my labour! Children begin to problem solve when objects are taken from them and children begin to spontaneously share with other children.
The typical approach to a child taking an object is to tell the child, “No, that’s not yours, share!” Then the child will be required to give the object back. Due to the stage of a child’s development, their concept of ownership is not developed enough to understand this adult enforced idea. Their ‘take-away’ from this situation is, “Taking objects off others is ok.”, as that is essentially what the adult has demonstrated.
Instead, when I see children struggle, I come close slowly to ensure they are safe, and, beginning with the least intervention possible, I wait. I may offer my support by saying what I see, “You have the toy now, you don’t have it. “ I offer a voice by labelling their feelings, “You are upset, you want the toy.” I have to say, every situation is different, and sometimes I intervene more if I feel it is necessary. But with the RIE approach, I let children be the problem solvers, allowing them to see their own capabilities, instead of relying on adults to fix things for them.
