Play objects continued

As per Jessica's request for a shopping list.
Head to Ikea, Japan Home (HK), or any supermarket or store like Thingz (Western Australia).
When looking for play objects for your infant, remember to check out RIE literature such as Dear Parent, by Magda Gerber. She shared a lot there. But as far as providing interesting objects for my children, of mixed ages, both in the classroom and at home, here they are.

Think safety first. Not having pieces, not being able to swallow, not too heavy and not sharp and not toxic!
Think texture!

• Stainless steel bowls, not to large, different sizes. The reflective light is fascinating to my children. The sound it makes when tapped on hard surface is a great surprise.
• Silicon in different shapes. Think oven mit, place mats. My 6 month old holds the flat square place mat and uses his hand to open and close it. He can watch it for ages. He also seems to enjoy the challenge of picking this flat object up from his mat.
• Plastic bowls, children are fascinated with objects and the idea of in and out. They will put their hand in and out of a bowl, toying with this concept of object permanence (my hand cant be seen but hey, magic, it is still there!)
• O-balls. Toys R us do not offer a lot in Hong Kong other than a nice selection of balls ;-) O-balls are light and easy to pick up. Great for chewing.
• One of the favourites for children of all ages has been a few clear plastic toothpick holders. The smooth round cover seems to fit nicely with a little click onto the base. Place a few safe things inside for interest.
• Plastic soap dishes. My 6 month old seems to get a real buz out of exploring the properties of objects, and isn't bored with plastic, as long as they have different shapes. A round soap dish with a few bumpy bits, hours of fun in his mouth, dropped to make noise, and for the big kids, to place things inside and carry around.
• Inflatable ring, or beach ball. These should not be blown up to capacity. Just enough left out so that even a 6 month old can grasp it. It provides a BIG object yet light enough to manipulate. When they are older, I went through so many. The bigger kids would roll on the balls and get a huge buzz out of that.
• Short lengths of plastic chain, available here in HK at most hardware stores, provide a great play object. It can be poured, and is interesting like a collection of small things, yet safe for small babies.
• I had a million old "Lamaze" baby toys. I remembered my older children never played with them. I used to look at them and think, why wont they play with this every day, they are so pretty and interesting (to me)? I believe that they are too complicated, and from my observations of children with simple play objects, they need objects which they can "make sense of" (Gerber). Simplicity gives them the most enjoyment. Anyhow, these Lamaze toys did have something for me, I chopped off all of the small plastic rings, so now my babies have a lovely colourful collection of shiny plastic rings, easy to manipulate and much more attractive now they are not attached to those crazy and complicated Lamaze toys.

You're not my friend!

Observation:

Three children, aged approximately 3, 4 and 5 years old. The older two clearly have a lot in common, seeking each other for play whenever they get together (once a week). They share a history (spending week days together in a playgroup since toddlerhood). It is pointed out to me by one of their educators that, “The older two don’t seem to like the youngest.” I commence my own observations.

I see the 3 year old clearly infatuated by the older two. Tagging along, attempting to be with them and eager to join their game. The older two do what they can to NOT let the 3 year old in their play. Quite simply, the 3 year old seems to annoy them. The older two are using a lot of language that “excludes” the younger child, such as, “You’re my friend, you’re not my friend, let’s be friends”

Reflection:

Previously, perhaps prior to discovering the RIE approach, I would respond to these children with approach A) “Everybody here are friends, we are all here together, you have to try to get along.” Then launch into some form of finding a way to make them all play together. However, when I reflect and see it all at face value, and draw on the RIE method to: acknowledge, don’t fix and be there, then things change.

Approach B) We need to acknowledge the older two for what they feel “the younger child is new, you don’t want to play with him”. Then, to the 3 year old, “the other children don’t want to play with you right now. This upsets you, you want to play with them. They said no. I am here for you.”

Let’s look at what approach A) teaches the child.

• ·         Your feelings are not real,
• ·         I don’t trust you,
• ·         Suppress true feelings,
• ·         You need to rely on adults to fix your problems,
• ·         You have to do things you don’t like, even if you don’t know why, or don’t feel empathy.

Approach B)

·         Your feelings are valid,

·         You have a point of view,

·         You have the right to make choices,

·         You can get through this pain (the 3 year old) and face disappointment, and I will be here for you,

·         You can learn to empathise and consider others because I am empathizing and considering you! The power of role modelling is so often underestimated,

·          You can hear new ways of using language to express your feelings gently (hearing the alternative to “you are/aren't my friend” in my sports casting of “You want to play with, don’t want to play with___ right now.”)